I just pynch a tree in the face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
