That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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