Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
