weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
