just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
soo... how was my night?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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