sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
