Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
