you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
