We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
