She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
