C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
