"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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