i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
