Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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(719): View more from Colorado

we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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(812): View more from Indiana

Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.

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(702): View more from Nevada

if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.

(330): View more from Ohio

I need to meet your family.

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