So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
