Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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