The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
