That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
