return my video game
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
