This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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