If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
