i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
