Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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