the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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