Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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