Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i will never coherently bang her
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
