You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
