OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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