I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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