I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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