Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am available for nakedness
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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