I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize