He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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