I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
