The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Text me some of your sweat
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize