he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
