I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
