I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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