Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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