Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
