Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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