trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
