Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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