their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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