Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
