Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
