my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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