Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
