did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can i not drive my cunt home
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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