Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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