Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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