There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
