Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
