I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
