dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
