We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
