is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
