Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
