Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
