Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
