Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
