They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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