I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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