it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize