i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
